Apr | 08 | The Dissin’ Of Beulah’s Bangers or Dining With Darren Again

 “Would you like half of this ‘slight snack’

Cooked on the borderlands of heaven?” I asked

He said “Worizit?”

I lovingly responded

Trying to come down to the

Raw level of this swarthy Galilean

“It is a  ‘Beulah Banger’ if you will” I said

“A Tortilla flour wrap

Lovingly embracing some

Plump and slightly spitting

Sauvignon and organic pork ‘sawsarge ‘

Enfolding them like babies in a

Warm blanket of love

Caressing them gently but firm like a

Victorias Secret’s bra on the chest of Abishag

Cosseting them in hot red caramelised onions all

Intermingled with torn and dry,

Loose-leaf Romaine.

And I know”, I said

“Before the cut

It looks like a giant middle class spliff

A Camberwell carrot for toffs to suck on

If you will, but

After the knife slices and  separates this

Southern

Sawsarge

Wrap

This Beulah Banger

If you will,

Its inner self will smoke, yes,
Will wind its own delicious way toward you

Swaying invitingly like

A lover’s hips in the moonlight

Sashaying seductively

Across this

Fine

Pine

Dining table.”

Whilst feeling the peak

Of his brown flat cap between the

Uncut nails of his dirty thumb and nose picking finger

He kicked his Whippet quiet and said

“Bugger me if it in’t a soft Southern hotdog!

I wish it wurra bap, but ne’mind, am famished!

So gie it ‘ere, an pass the bloody ketchup anall, and

Goo and get me a mug tea as well darling,

Milk three sugars and none o’ that

Lapsan suchan arse ‘oles either”

It was good to be Dining with Darren

..........Again